Across and Over

I was planning to leave.

Not now, but soon enough. I saved money, I checked out travel books, I asked friends and family and travel writers. I reached, stretched out, until my fingers were nearly across the Atlantic.

I was going to be gone. Far enough away that I’d be more memory than woman, more reflection than flesh and bones but now…

Plans change. Dreams must be flexible or they’ll die, you know, so adjusting my course isn’t a sign of surrender – it’s the only way forward. I’m not giving up.

Right?

If I stay, if I run and find a little room of my own, I can create on my own terms. I can belong somewhere. I can feel at home. Maybe I’ll be able to breathe again. The air in my lungs is stale and muggy, made thick by time and tension. It’s made me so tired.

What else can I do, really, besides linger at the edge of a life I never imagined?

I suppose I could jump. Let the wind carry me if it must. Find somewhere new, seek the sun. Who knows, who knows, who knows.

Advertisements

Leave a comment

Filed under Story Time, Uncategorized

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s